I want to start this by saying that we serve a mighty, powerful, and wonderful God. We serve a God that when we truly take our hands off the doorknob, He will open the correct doors for us. We serve a God who is more real than reality.
Last Friday, my mother became extremely ill. As soon as I received word, I began praying. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Floor meet knees. One of the verses for the next post for the Prayer in this series, actually, the one I was writing on next, came to my mind. I jumped up and grabbed the index card I have it written down on.
If calamity strikes us, such as war, judgement, disease, or famine, we will stand before you in this house - that is, before you, since your name is in this house - and cry out to you in our distress; and you will hear us and rescue us. 2 Chronicles 20:9
This verse was integrated into my prayers over her for the next three days. We had no idea how critical the situation we were facing really was, until we took her to the hospital and they told us they would be flying her out to Oklahoma City. Those words slammed into me and I knew that I was in a state of shock and had to absorb it. I began crying out to God like I never have before. And fought with the only weapon I have. The Word, my sword. My shield of faith at that moment had a lot of cracks in it as fear was trying to break it, but the more I spoke the Word, the stronger it got. How we react is so important. If I were to say, “Oh no, I just believed God and didn’t fear because I know He’s in control.”, I’d be a liar. I’m still fighting fear with this. I guess my point is, the only reason I was able to pull myself from extreme shock, wanting to break down and lose myself in that fear is because I continue to saturate myself in the Word every day and I pray and seek His face every day. My foundation didn’t wash away like the foolish man who built his house on the sand instead of the rock. This doesn’t mean I haven’t cried, believe me, I have shed more tears this week than you can imagine.
Tuesday night through Thursday night was spent living in ICU. We watched her literally come back to life physically and not only has she been praising God, she grabbed me at one point and said, “I need you to pray over me right now.” She has said over and over she knows who has her. Her faith has been unwaivering. When she went for a scan and the doctor told me they were thinking some pretty scary stuff, I found myself at another choice of caving to fear or standing. One of the verses I have been standing on is from Daniel, “Even if He doesn’t”, and it is hard to pray that in regards to someone you love and mean it. It was my Abraham and Isaac moment, and through gritted teeth and hot tears, I prayed it an meant it. “Even if You don’t bring her through this, I will praise you, I will glorify You, I will love you, because You are her God. And she loves you.” It was a shaterring moment. I found myself pacing the waiting room, reading the book of Psalms because I needed to praise my way up, I was texting numerous people who were seeking updates, and my aunt sent me a scripture that God put on her heart for me.
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you; don’t be distressed, for I am your God. I give you strength, I give you help, I will support you with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10
The rest of that wait, I recited that scripture. Over and over I quoted that scripture. The wait seemed torturously long, but finally the doctor came out to talk to us. The scans shows no signs of all of the worst case scenarios that they told us we were looking at. NONE OF THEM! I started praising God right then in front of the doc, because who else can do that but God? The next morning, the hospital chaplain came over the intercom with that same verse from Isaiah. Again, who else does that but God?
Thursday night they moved her out of ICU onto step down and during the times she was awake, she witnessed and shared the Lord with everyone she talked to. One of her nurses is a niece to a friend of hers where she buys her supplements, and that woman is a prayer warrior. Another person who saw her is married to someone from my brother’s town, which is so tiny and off the map, unless you have been there, you don’t know it exists. I have no doubt God is going before us and making the way, fighting the battle. Things like this don’t just happen.
We still have a long way to go before she is well. While I know that God could have healed her instantly, and I don’t know why He is working this way, that does that matter. His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts. But I can tell you this, my faith is stronger than its ever been, there are people who have heard a woman declare how great God is while in a physically critical condition, He is receiving all glory through this because it is His hand, not man’s making the way straight for us.
I ask for continued prayers for my mother as she continues walking through this. We will walk the path that He makes before us. No matter what the situation, He really is in control. He really does Hold us by His strong right hand. He is worthy of praise, no matter how dark it seems for us, because He is a holy and magnificent God.
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